Nocturnal
by Purple
Summary: Ken and Yoji spend a night on the rooftop... (shounen ai) [MY FIRST FIC]


  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Type: YouKen, shounen ai oneshot   
Rating: PG-13   
Spoilers: Episodes 4 & 5, second season  
Warnings: shounen ai, language  
Disclaimer: Weiß kreuz is owned by Takehito Koyasu-san and company.   
Started: Nov. 25, 2000  
Completed: Dec. 07, 2000  
Finalized: Dec. 21, 2000  
  
Dedicated to: Deena, Chibi Chiriko and NightMajik -- for being *so* kind, and generous   
with their time. Thank you! ^_^  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
N o c t u r n a l  
by Purple  
  
  
It was a quiet night in Tokyo once again. He loved quiet nights -- quiet, cool nights. Nights when he could just sit on the rooftop of their apartment and think. Think for as long and as hard as he wanted to about anything and everything, or maybe not even think at all and just sing.   
  
And so, softly he sang to himself, as he lay there with his head on his hands looking at the vast beauty of the night sky above. The night sky that could sometimes be as bright and beautiful as this, or be as dark and haunting on nights of missions. And on nights like those it was ironic how the dark sky took on a reddish shade as if mocking them of their growing number of sins.   
  
Lips stopped singing and started talking, whispering out frustrations, regrets and questions as if confessing to the moon and the stars. What kind of a life is this? A life of killing and lying. This couldn't possibly have been his fate. Why him? Why must people die at his hands? It was ironic that unfortunate ones start to worry about their fates once faced by him while he, on the other hand, becomes more sure of where he was destined to go once he finishes them off: To hell.  
  
"No, *this* is hell," he whispered sadly.  
  
"Talking to yourself again, Kenken?" A tall, lanky figure appeared from the shadows, surrounded by cigarette smoke.  
  
"Yoji!" the younger boy gasped, "You startled me!" as he rose to sit up from his position.  
  
"What are you doing here?" asked the older one.  
  
"Nothing. Just looking at the stars. And you?" he asked back.  
  
"Looking at the stars or talking to them?" The blond ignored his question.   
  
The younger boy blushed.   
  
"You know, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Kenken, but I don't think they can answer back, let alone hear you," he continued.  
  
"Ha-ha, very funny. Will you just mind your own business Yoji, and leave me alone?" Ken glowered.   
  
"Nope. Sorry, no can do. I think it would be better for you if you just talk to me instead," said the other as he sat next to Ken.  
  
"And *why* is that so?"   
  
"So that the neighbors won't think you're crazy. Besides there's a greater chance of you getting some replies if you talk to me, ne?"  
  
"I'd rather talk to the stars."  
  
"Come on, Ken. Either I'm a bad conversationalist or you're really *that* crazy and desperate."  
  
"Asshole," Ken thought.  
  
But he was right. Talking to someone about his frustrations would somehow ease the burden he was experiencing at the moment, even if that someone was Yoji.   
  
The brunette became quiet, and as brown eyes stared intently at his own guilty hands he said, "I really hate what we're doing...and I seem to loathe myself even more with every goddamn mission." He let out a deep sigh, and asked, "Why can't we just have normal lives like everybody else?"  
  
"Then those jerks that we were supposed to kill would still be alive. Happily screwing up our normal lives," Yoji rationalized.  
  
"Then why couldn't they have just gotten another group of people instead of us four?"  
  
"Then we wouldn't have met," Yoji remarked seriously.  
  
"Yeah, right, Yoji. As if that matters to you," Ken scoffed.  
  
In one fluid motion that was characteristic of Yoji, long, slender fingers gently touched the younger boy's chin, and his face was brought to face Yoji's, "It matters to me, Ken...  
  
"A lot."  
  
And in that moment, as though chocolate-colored eyes drowned in the stare of jade ones, Ken blushed and nervously turned away.  
  
"Umm...well, it sure is getting cold out here."  
  
"How does hot coffee inside sounds?" Yoji suggested casually.  
  
"Coffee...y-yeah...um, sure. Sounds good," Ken stammered.  
  
"Okay, then, let's go."  
  
The boy almost ran towards the rooftop door and as he grabbed the doorknob, a cold feeling of horror rushed through his body.  
  
"Oh...my...God..."   
  
"What's wrong Kenken?" Yoji teased. "You forgot how to open a door?"  
  
Ken twisted the doorknob impatiently. "No, you idiot! The door is locked!"   
  
"It's what?!"   
  
"Yeah, you heard me right! Some stupid, arrogant assassin came up here and accidentally locked the door from the *other* side!"   
  
"Oh, shit! I forgot. That's why I came up here; to tell you that the doorknob is broken." Yoji cursed now remembering that he had planned to warn Ken about the door then leave it ajar after.  
  
The soccer player would have gladly kicked Yoji's head at that moment. "How could you *forget* a thing like *that*, you moron?! Now how are we suppose to get inside?! Omi's probably in dreamland right now, and Aya -- well *hello* -- Aya cares for us like he cares for a rock! He's never gonna look for us tonight!"  
  
"Ken."  
  
"What!"  
  
"Shut up. I'm trying to think here, okay?"  
  
"Well you better!" Ken snapped. "You're the reason we're stuck here in the first place," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
  
"Okay, let's see...well we could try going down the pipeline," Yoji suggested after a few moments, "but then that would be pretty dangerous. The one we have in this building is like antique," he informed. " I don't think it can even support Omi. Besides, I don't want to waste my date money to pay for some stupid pipes if we break it."  
  
"Ah, how touching," Ken replied, words oozing with sarcasm.  
  
"Okay, smartass, instead of standing there acting like a brat why don't you *try* to use your head for a change? Although, don't think too hard Kenken or you might end up in a coma."  
  
"Shut up, Yoji! I have every right to be mad at you right now so stop patronizing me! And besides, unlike *you*, I already have a plan in mind that might actually work!"  
  
"And what is this plan, if I may ask?"  
  
"I plan to knock the door down."  
  
"That's it? You're just going to throw yourself at the door? That's a *plan*?" Yoji gave him that oh-you-have-got-to-be-kidding look.  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"It's a pretty sturdy door, Ken. Charging towards it would only do you harm."   
  
"Not if I can help it," the boy replied, his tone determined. And before Yoji could say anything else, Ken had already started to throw himself towards the door.  
  
And harm him it did.   
  
"OOOWWW!!!" Ken cried in agonizing pain as he collapsed.  
  
"Baka." The older boy flicked the cigarette from his fingers and quickly rushed to the injured one's side -- who was now cussing while grabbing his right shoulder.   
  
"Y-You're right...it is a sturdy door," the younger one said, wincing from the pain.  
  
"Take off your sweater," Yoji ordered.  
  
"What?! No way!"  
  
"Stop being so stubborn, Ken. Take off your sweater so I can have a good look at your shoulder."   
  
The boy was in such pain he had no other choice but to follow. Slowly he stripped off his black, turtleneck sweater. He struggled with it for a while using only one arm until Yoji decided to give him a hand.   
  
With all his boyish clothes outside, as the moon was Yoji's witness, the soccer-playing athlete/sexy heartthrob/every *fucking* amorous school girl's dream in Ken was beneath all those innocent-looking garments.   
  
"..."  
  
Yoji silently gasped as he looked Ken over. His smooth, tanned skin and slightly toned torso were a sight for sore eyes. And with his face flushed and his coffee-colored locks all messed up he looked like he just had...  
  
Dammit, Kudou! Stop it! You've waited for this chance long enough so don't let your hyperactive libido screw it up!   
  
His worldly thoughts of kissing Ken madly and running his fingers up, down and all over the soccer player's beautiful body finally dissolved once he caught sight of Ken's injured shoulder. God, he almost forgot why he asked Ken to take his sweater off in the first place!  
  
"Your shoulder's a bit swollen, but I don't think there are any broken bones," Yoji concluded after a little inspection of Ken's arm. "Nevertheless, try not to move too much."   
  
Having said this he once again helped Ken gently into his sweater. After a while, Ken was able to manage the pain.   
  
"Umm...thanks, Yoji," he muttered as he ran his fingers through dark hair.  
  
"For what? I didn't do anything?" Yoji rose to his feet then rested his back on the wall beside the door.  
  
"Well, for...um...putting up with me a while ago."  
  
"If you're talking about you being a pain in the ass," the playboy said, "well, hey, don't mention it." And lighted another cigarette.   
  
Ken would've snapped back at him but then quickly decided that just this once he would let the remark go. Then he noticed the intense look that was forming on Yoji's face as he puffed at his stick. Those emerald orbs of his staring into space as if even surpassing the stars.   
  
He wanted to ask Yoji how they're going to get inside but he was in such deep thought, and Ken had a feeling Yoji wasn't even thinking of the locked door at the moment. It was probably the farthest thing on his mind right now. He resisted the urge to speak up and dared not disturb the other one from his thoughts.  
  
Finally, Yoji spoke. "So tell me Ken, did you love Yuriko?"   
  
Ken was caught off guard with this question. Is this what Yoji had been thinking about? My love life?!   
  
"What do you mean? Of course I love...loved her," he almost choked on the last part.  
  
"No, Ken, I mean did you *really* love her?" Yoji persisted.  
  
"W-Well, I guess I won't know that for sure now, will I? We parted before anything barely started," he said with a tone of regret. "And even if we didn't, she still doesn't deserve someone as wasted as me." Then after realizing the interrogation he was being put into, asked, "Why the sudden interest with my now non-existent love life anyway?"  
  
"Poor Ken, you have *so* much more to learn when it comes to love."  
  
Ken was insulted. "Excuse me but are you implying that I don't have the *slightest* idea what love is?"   
  
"Someday, Ken, someday you will find that one special person. When you meet that person it's like you've been given another chance at life." He took a puff then continued, "And you know that even if this person doesn't love you back, or leaves you for someone or something else, you can still say that your life is now complete. Just because you two met, and you have been blessed with this person's mere existence."  
  
Ken was secretly surprised. Where were all these words and ideas coming from? Yoji, the great womanizer, talking about that *one* true love? Has he gone mad? Well, he was definitely talking about Asuka but, still, he just had to ask. "And have you felt something like that before?"  
  
"Yes, Ken. And I have been both lucky and blessed to experience it twice in this lifetime; and yet, cursed, for I can never seem to have either one of them forever," he said as his eyes glistened with melancholy.   
  
"Gomen. I know how much you loved Asuka, and Neu, well-"  
  
"Neu?" Yoji interrupted. "Neu is a dream gone bad. A nightmare. A nightmare I killed with my own hands. And every goddamn day it still haunts me. Chasing me to the bitter end. Now, tell me," green eyes stared down intently at Ken, "is that supposed to be the kind of love I'm talking about?"  
  
"Then who is the other-"  
  
"It's you...it's you Ken," Yoji confessed as he looked away. "It's always been you."   
  
"E-Excuse me?" was all Ken could manage to say as he stood up.  
  
Right about then Yoji wished he had his sunglasses with him. Those reliable shades of his that made flirting easier. Those shades that served as a thin wall between the real him and the pretentious game that went on in front of him. It was not like he was *not* enjoying this kind of activity, it was his favorite past time for crying out loud! But that's just exactly what it was to him: A past time. No guilt, just indulge.   
  
But tonight it was totally different...only because it was Ken. Maybe on this fateful night he was meant to forget his sunglasses, because tonight he was going to bare his heart and soul after a *very* long time. Hoping that Ken would actually *see* him beyond the gender, beyond the sunglasses, beyond the façade. With this thought, he found the courage to continue.  
  
"You inspire me, Ken. Your naïveté; your big, caring heart; your sensitive soul," and with a smile he added, "Hell, even your temper inspires me." Then as his face turned serious again, he continued, "Your spirit has all the beauty in it that mine doesn't have. I've long lost my belief in goodness and in the existence of a Higher Power, even more so after Asuka's death. Back then I wasn't even living anymore; I was just existing. And I'll tell you, it was a *very* sorry existence." At that moment he took one last puff from his stick as others would've taken a deep breath. "But when you came into my life, unknowingly you gave me a chance to revive all that was dead and dying in me. Since then I started to believe in the Higher Power again cause I know only He can create someone as beautiful as you.  
  
A pause.  
  
"I blamed Him for the death of Asuka, but, obviously, He had other plans for me. Cause if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't have joined Weiß; and if I hadn't joined Weiß then...I wouldn't have met you, Ken.   
  
Then the older boy moved away from the wall and placed himself in front of Ken. The younger boy blinked and started to breathe heavily as Yoji slowly raised an arm, and rested his palm on the wall just above Ken's shoulder. And as his face drew near, dreamy green eyes locked with confused brown ones.   
  
"So please, don't go asking why this job hasn't gone to another group of people cause...Weiß just might be the best thing that ever happened to me. Asuka completed me, but her death left me hollow to the core, and you, you've filled up that empty space. Your mere existence has made my life worth living again and for that...  
  
"I love you, Ken."  
  
After all that Yoji had said, Ken was still speechless. For a few seconds the blushing brunette just stood there searching the other's face for reasons unknown as his mind desperately tried to form a sentence, any sentence.  
  
"I-I don't know what to say, Yoji..." Ken answered weakly, cheeks blushing. And as he was about to raise his hand to touch the older one's face, Yoji turned away.   
  
"It's alright. You didn't have to say anything, really..." But of course Yoji knew he was lying to himself cause Lord knows he wished for nothing more than for Ken to tell him that he also loved him. But whether Ken did or not, *nothing* was going to change the way Yoji felt for him.   
  
"It's getting late. And you've had too much excitement for one non-mission night. Why don't you give your shoulder a rest; I'm pretty sure it's gonna be fine by tomorrow."   
  
Yoji was well aware of his innate urbane eloquence, but tonight, he surprised even himself.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
The evening found Ken lying wide awake, digesting what had just happened. He couldn't sleep, and how could he? It was not everyday that another man comes up to him and confesses his undying love for him. Actually, as unbelievable as it may sound, it wasn't even because it was a guy, or Yoji, for that matter, but rather it was more of him being ready to trust someone again. Love's a great risk, and for one to take that risk takes a lot of trust. Unfortunately, most of his trust died with Kase. Yoji said Ken was able to revive the dying faith in him, will Yoji do the same for his dying trust? Now he couldn't stop thinking about Yoji and his effusive confession.   
  
He smiled faintly at the thought of it.  
  
Ken's mouth may have failed him tonight but his eyes saw everything. He *saw* Yoji. He saw the sincerity in Yoji's eyes that matched the words he uttered. Those emerald eyes...he never realized how beautiful they truly were until tonight, the same way he never realized how deep and intense Yoji was. Deep, intense emerald eyes. Beautiful Yoji. He saw it all and it seemed Yoji wanted him to. Ken could've looked at him all night...and so too, that night, he made a vow to open up his heart to Yoji.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
The morning found Yoji sitting at the building's ledge smoking away his cigarette with his hair now tied to its usual ponytail. He was guilty as charged the night before with the locked door, but he didn't regret it.   
  
The moment he stepped outside and saw Ken lying on his back in that pensive mood of his, he was immediately drawn to him. Door completely forgotten. He didn't sleep that night but being the nocturnal person that he was, that probably wasn't such a big surprise. All he could think of was Ken, which was once again nothing new. Only this time he was given the pleasure to do this while he actually watched Ken sleep.   
  
He smiled faintly at the thought of it.  
  
Ken was beautiful even when asleep. Lying on his left side as his head rested on his arm. His dark hair all tousled. For one moment, Yoji even gave in to the urge of wanting to touch him by gently moving deep brown strands away from the sleeping boy's face, then slowly running his fingers down the slope of Ken's cheek. The curled up figure barely stirred. Yoji could have watched him all night...and on that same night, he vowed that he would love Ken for the rest of his life.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
"Ohayo," Ken greeted, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes as he walked towards the ledge where Yoji was seated.  
  
"Ohayo. How's your shoulder?" Yoji asked.  
  
"Better. Thanks for asking. What time is it?" he inquired while positioning himself next to the blond.  
  
"It's time for Omi to come looking for me," Yoji answered to a now perplexed Ken.  
  
"Well, you know we've had a lot of missions lately, so let's just say that our missions are proportional to Omi's tardy slips in school," he began to explain. "The boy's worried cause he's already in hot water with his teacher, Ms. Takata, because of this. So yesterday I offered to give him a ride to school for the rest of the week so he can make up for all those other days. Plus," he stressed, "have a little chat with Ms. Takata, use my irresistible charm on her, flirt with her, woo her, and maybe even squeeze in a good word or two for Omi."  
  
"Unbelievable, the things you two come up with," Ken remarked, shaking his head as the playboy smiled with him.  
  
Suddenly, a suspended silence filled the air...  
  
"Um...Yoji, about last night-"   
  
"Don't say it, Ken."  
  
"..."  
  
"Please, let the things that happened last night be," Yoji begged. "If you want me to stay as far away from you as possible then, fine, I'll do it. But please, don't take away the happiness that was last night..."  
  
Upon hearing these words Ken shook his head again, but this time to let Yoji see that he thought wrong. Oh, Yoji. I won't. I have no right to take away your happiness. I just want you to know that I... And maybe Yoji did see this. Cause he then raised his head to the sky and with a serene look on his face he said, "Ken, last night my long wait finally ended.  
  
"Last night, for once in my life I was being true to my self." Elegant fingers touched Ken's chin and gently lifted his face to meet emerald gaze.  
  
"Last night, I could've died right then and there, and I would still be happy..." and slowly drew him close, eyes locked in a stare.  
  
"...because last night, I was able to let the one person that matters to me most know...how much I love him..." and closer still, breathing heavily, their lips barely an inch apart and their eyes closing as if to surrender...  
  
Creeeak!   
  
The sound that came from the old rooftop door being opened thwarted the moment. Then as if from nowhere, a head with blue eyes and blond hair appeared.  
  
"Yoji-kun!" Omi called. "I've been looking all over the place for you. You promised you'll give me a ride to school today remember?" Then after noticing Ken was there too, he asked, "What are you and Ken-kun doing here so early in the morning anyway?"   
  
"Actually, we've been here all night," Ken corrected as the two moved away from the ledge.  
  
"N-Nani?! All night?!" Big blue eyes blinked in disbelief.  
  
"It's a long story, Omittchi. I'll tell you all about it on the way to school. Now why don't you go fix your things and wait for me in the car."  
  
"Hai. But don't take too long, Yoji-kun," the youngest boy said with a cute pout. "I'm really gonna get it this time if I come in late again."  
  
Yoji nodded in reply as Omi left, leaving the door open behind him.  
  
"Well, maybe *now* we can have our coffee," the older boy joked.  
  
"Wait...there's one more thing..." Ken said softly as he approached the tall blond. Once in front of him, the younger boy then lightly pressed his hands onto Yoji's chest for support, stood on his toes, then proceeded to give Yoji the sweetest kiss the playboy had ever known.   
  
Ken may be naturally temperamental, Yoji thought, but when it came to intimacy he was as gentle as a lamb.   
  
"I know you said that you're happy because of last night, but I want you to be happier. Cause you deserve it, Yoji."  
  
And with this, Yoji smiled and cupped Ken's blushing face with his hands then slowly drew him near; it was his turn to kiss Ken's sweet lips. The soccer player did not protest, succumbing to the intimacy that was taking place. And as the kiss grew deeper, Ken's lips parted to welcome Yoji's exploring tongue.   
  
Yoji then slid his hand from the other's smooth neck to entangle soft brown locks as he let his other hand run down Ken's back. Ken's fingers dug deeper into Yoji's chest. Falling headfirst passionately into the kiss. Finally, his tongue responded to Yoji's. The kiss turned torrid. Ken moaned. Yoji hissed. As each drowned themselves to the intoxicating kiss...  
  
After a while, the two stood there still holding on to each other. Ken nestled contently in Yoji's warm embrace, pleasantly surprised with how kissing Yoji, hugging him, the whole reality of just being there with him felt so right, even natural. Yoji buried his nose to the sweet scent of Ken's hair as his fingers gently stroked them.   
  
"Well, you're right," Ken nodded. "Right now I do feel like I have been given another chance at life. And I wonder who's to blame?" he asked as he looked lovingly at Yoji.  
  
Yoji then kissed the brunette's head lightly and whispered, "I love you, Ken...forever."  
  
The younger boy clung to him even more, tears of joy forming at the corners of his eyes. Loneliness has finally left those words. It sounded so bittersweet before. Last night, those words were of confession; today, they were words of assurance.   
  
A lover's pledge heard by the Moon, watched by the Stars, and sealed sweetly under the Sun...again...and again.  
  
  
~Owari~  
  
  
  
  
Thanx for reading! ^_^ Let me know what you think, please? ::points to 'Review' box::   
  
  



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